Tuesday, May 30, 2006

What's the Point?

I drink decaf coffee. Stop throwing your virtual tomatoes at me, I know I’m in the minority! I know partially because I always get either the dregs or burnt coffee when I order decaf. The other tell-tell sign that people like me are few and far between is that whenever the subject of caf vs. decaf comes up, someone always says, “what’s the point?”

I envision some witty person years ago saying “what’s the point?” in regard to coffee and at the time it was clever and funny. Kind of like the first time someone said “shit happens” or “you want fries with that?” Now, it’s something that people say because they have heard other people say it and it’s an auto-response with no thought behind the words.

“How ya doing?”Auto-response “good.”

“Does this make me look fat?”Auto-response, “No!”

Silently minding my own business making coffee.
Auto-response, “You drink decaf? What’s the point?”

The point is that if I have caf, I get all jacked up and start to have heart palpitations. The point is that if I drink decaf too late in the day I can’t sleep. That’s the point!

I never thought about it before today, but I love the phrase “what’s the point?” It can immediately deflate any situation like a sharp tack to a balloon. I want to start using it in conversations other than beverage discussions. Like for instance, next time a friend calls to say that she’s pregnant I’m going to say, “What’s the point?” or the next niece to graduate, I’ll show up with a “What’s the point? 2009” mug. When my mom calls to ask when I’m coming home again, you’ve got it. I’m going to stick my hand in the hive and stir it up with a “what’s the point?”

So next time you’re cocked and loaded ready to shoot off at the mouth with this explosive phrase, stop and think for a minute, “what IS the point?”

Thursday, May 04, 2006


Yesterday during lunch a man smiled and did a double-take. Then I walked in a store, the security guy greeted me with an extra happy smile.

Isn’t it amazing when you have the ability to make someone’s day? I may have been dangling world’s largest booger or had a nipple inadvertently exposed, but it doesn’t matter, I made someone smile. Today I look like the butt-end of a hedgehog, but that's okay because yesterday I was interesting.

What if our goals weren’t financially motivated or career motivated, but rather a daily smile from a stranger? Imagine what a rewarding and bizarre life everyone would lead.


President Bush called Mexican president Vicente Fox yesterday to express disapproval of Mexico’s policy to legalize drugs. Apparently there was some confusion when he answered the phone, so Bush said, “Hi, Vicente?”

To which sly Fox replied, “Why yes I am.”

Although, the bill was revoked today, it was one wild night in Mexico.

I live for when Vicente Fox makes the news. Mainly because he reminds me of a Mexican Tom Selleck, but also he’s on my five attractive politicians list. Note, this is not a Top 5 list. No, that would infer that there are lots and I whittled it down. This is list of the only five attractive politicians alive. In addition to the foxy Fox, the list includes British boy-toy Tony Blair, newcomer Barak Obama, cutie George Clooney and another guy that I forgot his name.

Don’t get all up in arms with the whole ‘George Clooney isn’t an elected official’ bit. I’ve heard that before. But how is anyone supposed to know that he’s not a politician, when he keeps popping up in all the political fundraiser photos! Most people don’t know actually read the articles, we look at the pics.

If Clooney does ever did run for office, everyone would see the signs and just assume that he’s up for re-election.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

My Bark is Worse Than My Write

I'm all talk. My bark is worse than my write. I was all about “I’m gonna write a blog every day!” And here it is 4 days later and no blogs.

So the topic for today is the Richards-Locklear cat fight. Can I call it a cat-fight if they aren’t technically speaking? Today I realized why everyone is dazzled by celebrity lives and cling to magazines like People and US. It’s because they have PHOTOS!

Sure, it’s interesting if you heard a story about one of your friend’s mom’s best friend’s husband who left her for a neighbor who is ten years younger and in the middle of a divorce from her verbally abusive, porn-watching, madam paying husband. But imagine how much more engaging the story would be if your friend could provide photos!

What if, instead of reading magazines, everyone carried photos and just exchanged outrageous stories. “This is my neighbor, he’s cheating on his handicapped wife with Michelle," you'd dig through your purse, "wait, hold on, her pic is in here somewhere.”

We’re not interested in the fact that a former Bond girl is hooking up with a rock star drummer. No! We’re interested because US Weekly has photos of the hook up! I’ve never seen one of her movies or been to one of Sambora’s shows. I could care less about their talents, but I care about their juicy pics.

And that’s how shows like Jerry Springer and Montel can stay on the air. It’s because we actually get to see the deranged people. They are live! They aren’t even famous, but people watch because there is a face to go with the story.

Back to Denise Richards. Since I got sucked into this story by flashy headlines and “shocking” photos, I had another thought. She is seeking custody of their children because he looks at online porn, threatened her and might bring naughty girls home. I see her point. His habits aren’t exactly kid friendly. However, before she married him, he was already a known bad boy. He had a nasty drug habit, abused a former girlfriend and kept a Hollywood madam in business. So, the way I see it, Charlie might not be ideal, but Denise is a bad judge of character.

Charlie can clean up his act, but there's no cure for stupid.