Friday, January 15, 2010

Al Black

Is it just me or do Lewis Black and Al Franken look alike?
Kinda like Simon Cowell and Susan Boyle.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Panera Beeeb

Every time I place an order at Panera Bread, they ask for my name, and get it wrong. The first time I was there, my order was ready and they yelled out for "Beeeb!" Then proceeded to get annoyed when I didn't promptly pick it up. "Beeeb! BEEEEEB!!!"

Since then, if they yell out a name that starts wit a B, and it looks like something I want to eat, I take it off the counter. And it's not just me. I stood there one day as orders were picked up for Snodd, Bekorg and Orb. And for the record, they were all plain vanilla, conservative looking people. 'Orb' looked like she was from Greenwich, CT and there's no way it was her given name.

Today the name I was dubbed was Belly. Belly! If that's not enough to make you rethink eating a fattening chain lunch, I don't know what is.

"Belly! BELLL-EEEEEYYYY!!! I no know where is her. Belllyyy! Oh, you Belly?"

Unfortunately yes.

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Monday, January 11, 2010

What Happens in Detroit, Stays in Detroit

An ironic and interesting concept, using full-body medical scanners to screen people at airport security:

Ironic because although healthcare reform was shot down, money shows up immediately for national 'security'*. It proves that Americans aren't afraid of a slow, painful death, in fact, we expect it. But, a sudden one? Forget it, how soon can these scanners be installed?

If they are going to have TSA employees using equipment designed for medical reasons, they should have a doctor on hand to view it. Not to make sure it is used properly, but to say things like, "Don't forget your pocket change, and you might want to have that left kidney checked. Have a nice flight."

And whether dressed or not, it's human nature to check people out. So now all the terrorists have to do is find a guy with a giant johnson. I mean, really, who's going to notice a guy's jacket woven from explosives and matches in the pocket, when his dingle dangles to is knees?


*I used the sarcasm quotes on security because the Detroit bombing attempt could have been avoided with bomb sniffing dogs or officials reading the terrorist watch list, or noticing cash being paid for a one way ticket. And what do terrorists have against round trip tickets?


Because of my love of recycling, today I'm dusting off last year's resolution and using it this year. It's brand new, never been used.

I'm e-toxing. I'm going to attempt to go two weeks without checking e-mail. I say, attempt, because I don't know if it's ever been done... at least it hasn't been done by me.

I'm sure a full e-tox would involve going completely offline. No blogging, no facebook, no web. But baby steps. I have resolved to not use the message feature on facebook because it's too close to e-mail.