Bev's Hurricane Checklist

Family members have already started e-mailing me about how to prepare for Hurricane Irene that is slated to hit my city this weekend. I decided to post a list of what is needed to prepare for an impending hurricane.

HURRICANE CHECKLIST

1.) Car keys or a flight ticket
2.) The good sense to get the hell out of town

That's what my "Hurricane Kit" includes, common sense and transportation.

Why people choose to ride out a hurricane is way beyond sound logic. I mean if a bus was coming towards me, I'd jump out of it's way. If an angry rottweiler were running towards me, I'd get out of it's way. If a 3 mile wide funnel of pissed off 140 mile an hour winds is coming towards me, I get out of it's way. And for the record, I've never seen a rottweiler or a bus tear the roof off a building... pit bulls, now that's another story.

Things happen all the time that I don't see coming, and that's life. But a hurricane? Hurricanes can be seen from space! Even Aliens are out there thinking, "Man, I'd get out of the way of that thing."

I can't speak for other people, but my life is good. I have no need for a near death experience to spice things up. If I did, I would just eat at Taco Bell again. And if you're one of those people that claim they need to stay in harm's way for work, take a personal day or vacation day, or if you don't have any accumulated take an I-Don't-Want-to-Die-Today day. And the notion of "protecting one's property" is insane. In casinos, the house always wins. In hurricanes, the house always looses.

It's one thing if the bridge is out or your car won't start or if there is an unforeseen circumstance, but otherwise...

Beep, beep! Get out of the way!

Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorer

So, this Dora the Explorer is the worst explorer ever. She's all "Ayuda me, help me get the book out of my back pack. Help me read my map. Help me open the door." What kind of explorer doesn't even know how to read a map? You'd think an explorer would be more of an independent woman role model. I guess at least she's bilingual... so she can ask for help in 2 languages.

Fun filled weekend

Friday afternoon, the time when everyone is packing their bags for a beach weekend, or getting ready for their night out, I instead was listening to my pediatrician say, "you'll have to give her a fever reducer every 3 hours, and if she still has a fever Sunday, take her to the hospital."

Great. So I know on the front end that my weekend will involve no sleep and a potential visit to the emergency room. Oh fun. Kind of like a weekend in college, only at least then I had the benefit of surprise.

Pesty Neighbors

I pulled up to my house and saw the dreaded Terminex van at my neighbor's house. Great, now my house is about to become a roach refugee camp. All her bugs fleeing to the closest shelter.

At least I have some Banana Boat spray sunscreen left. Last time I saw a roach I didn't have any bugspray, but that sunscreen killed the bugger in 2 seconds... then later in the same spot I sprayed it, I found other bugs dead days later.... which makes me question the safety of smearing it all over my body. They should advertise it as a multi-purpose spray.