Give the man a smoke

Today I sat in Central Park to eat my lunch. It was gorgeous, warm, sunny, green. The birds were chirping, flowers were colorful, the crazy people were in full bloom...

I didn't look, but I could hear to my left an angry man going on a tirade about wanting a cigarette and no one giving it to him. He was screaming at the top of his lungs. Somewhere in the middle of it he yelled out "You f**kers are the shit of the universe." That's right, he said it, shit of the universe. He dropped the U-bomb.

I didn't know how to feel about being called universe shit. There's universal shit, which everyone has, but universe shit, that's a whole 'nuther concept. What would universe shit be? Astroids? Personally, I don't have strong feelings about astroids. I'm not for them, not against them. I'm pretty indifferent. Now, dog shit, I have strong opinions about that.

So I started thinking about the etymology of shit, which I like to call Shitymology. There's being called 'the shit' which is always a compliment. Being 'full of shit' can offend or make you laugh, depending on how full of shit you are. There's 'in deep shit' and 'shit hitting the fan' and 'up shit creek' which are always bad. 'Holy shit' and 'Oh shit' are just simple exclamatory phrases. And then there nouns like the 'Oh Shit Handle' in a car. And of course the unit of measurement, 'A shitload.'

But 'shit of the universe' doesn't fall into a category. It can't be confined by a definition. It's kind of like the universe itself - hard to fit things in categories. Pluto - planet or not? Black holes - real or conceptual?

What I find inspiring is that deep in my heart I know that somewhere in a galaxy far far away, there is shit of the universe, waiting to be discovered.

My funny man

When I come home at night, I get my ADD on and rattle off all the day's hightlights to my husband.

Last night when I got home, I went on about "Today in Times Square I ran into Ivory, remember that girl from my class I took in December? Anyway, I haven't seen in her in forever...then I stopped in Sephora and this lady gave me great samples. Her name was Ebony and she said to come back and..."

He interrupted with, "So wait a minute, are you telling me that you saw Ebony and Ivory today?"

I don't know if I did that story justice, but it was really funny when he said it.

Ebony. Ivory. Livin' in Times Square harmony.

Times Square Tee Pee

Walking through Times Square this morning, I saw a homeless guy sitting on the sidewalk. He had a sign that said 'Navajo Indian - need money to get home.'

I wanted to pat him on the head and say, "Oh honey, someone stole your home a long time ago. Home is where the heart is. Come on, let's go get a frappacino."

And I thought about his counter-intuitive marketing. On one hand, I feel bad because his people legitimately lost their homes to be homeless...on the other hand, if he doesn't know yet that his land was stolen, I don't want to be the one to tell him.

It Ain't Easy Being Green

I work with people who have MBA's, other Masters Degrees and six figure salaries. I work with people who manage other people's money. I work with people who don't know how to recycle.

It's sad to see the deterioration in our Ivy League education system. They just pass kids to get them out and make room for new ones. Now people get out not knowing how to read "Paper Only" and "Bottles and Cans" only on the recycling in the kitchen.

There's a regular trash can in there, yet they opt for throwing trash and food in the recycling because they weren't taught common sense. If they don't want to recycle that's cool, no pressure...but they don't have to ruin it for everyone.

Sigh...it ain't easy being green.