15

I've only seen it a couple of times, but the show 24 bothers me. There's something about knowing how much time is left that makes it easier to predict the ending.

I figure before I criticize the show too much, I should try it to see how hard it is to write. So I'm breaking down 15 minutes of fast-action that happened last night.

15
Left the UCB theatre.

12
Had to pee, darted in a NYSC to use the bathroom. Walked in bathroom while naked 'woman' was changing. She had no pubes, no balls, but strangely enough, had a penis.

10
Peed while trying to erase the mental picture of the chick-dick. Went to flush and realized that my pee was pink.

8
Rushed out of NYSC strategizing how to get to the nearest hospital or doctor's office.

6
While frantically walking, remembered that I drank beet juice earlier in the day.

5
Calmed down. Walked slower. Remembered the time I saw a "girl" with no dick but two balls. Wished I had a way to introduce the two "ladies."

4
Heard commotion next to me on the sidewalk. Turned to see homeless guy. He was gesturing and arguing with imaginary opponent with one hand, while peeing with the other.

3
Wondered if imaginary fight broke out when his other half told him not to pee on the sidewalk.

0
Realized I was jealous of a angry homeless man and his golden yellow urine.

The End

I think I would title this episode Chic-Dick Beet-Pee