I-Key-UGH

Don’t ever order anything online from IKEA. I mean it, save yourself the trouble. If you’re feeling masochistic, cut off a toe or something. Don’t sit in your house all day waiting for an order to be delivered, only for two strangers to show up with four tiny boxes that weigh half a pound and they forgot about the two closets.

Those Swedes. I bet they all sit at home right now, enjoying their 24-hour daylight and laughing at the silly Americans. “Ha, ha, I can’t believe they fell for our company – IKEA, ha, ha, ha…” And Sven, the jokester mastermind behind it all would say, “Yeah, my ‘delivery’ scam was brilliant, ha, ha, make them wait a month for furniture they have to assemble THEMSELVES, ha, ha, ha, or better yet, don't deliver it at all, ha, ha, ha..."