Simple Steps for Celebrity Publicity

You too can act like a celebrity by following Bev's simples steps to fame!

1.) Adopt a child from Africa and/or check in rehab
2.) Get pregnant or knock someone up
3.) Bad-mouth another celebrity.
4.) Work with acting coach to practice being surprised by all the publicity.
5.) Repeat steps 1-4 above.

WARNING: In case of an emergency, if press goes bad, schedule an impromptu appearance on Oprah.