Groundhog Day

Yesterday was a hellacious day for me. Do people still use the word hellacious? If they don't then that makes it even more appropriate, because that's just the kind of day it was.

I started off the day with the dreaded task of calling one of my acting teachers to say I wouldn't be taking classes in Feb. I wanted to put it off another day, but I knew that would only make things worse. I explained that I had been writing a lot and doing stand up. I felt I was on a roll and didn't want to stop. I didn't hear disappointment in her voice, I didn't hear annoyance, no I heard…disbelief. She didn't believe me! Did she not believe the writing or the comedy?

I didn't have time to ponder it any longer, or I would be late for work.

At work, I was standing in the cafeteria waiting for an omelet. When what to my wandering eyes should appear beside me, but the head of HR. I was about to e-mail her anyway, because she has a job posted that I want. I did the "hi, remember me, I met with you…"

Blank stare.

It was one of those situations where you know you should just stop talking and cut your social losses, but something deep within you makes you talk more, even though you know you are digging a socially impaired ditch. Turns out, she didn't remember me, and didn't even pretend to remember me. All she wanted was to quietly get her breakfast in peace and go eat it in the office with the door closed. Her body language explains this all to me.

The next item on my list of Today's Humiliations was to stop by and say hello to a Publisher that I previously worked for. Somewhere in the "hey, how's it going" my writing came up and I excitedly went into detail about it. However, instead of feeling like a confident professional pursuing her craft, I slowly realized I was a five year old kid standing in my mother's heels pretending to be an adult. Mid-sentence, the reality of the fact that I was speaking with an actual publisher like I was Sedaris sunk in…

"Well, I've had more time to focus on my writing, which has been great…(what the hell am I saying, who do I think I am? Oh no, am I shrinking?)….and I stawted wwwriting my book, and after a hundwed pages, I took a bweak to do a scweenpway…and the nice wady at the bank gave me a lolli-pop…"

I looked in my calendar after all this. It was Groundhog's Day…it was all beginning to make sense. It wasn't my fault. No, I wasn't an awkward freak, it was just the universe having a laugh. It was nature's own April Fool's Day.

After work I went to buy a birthday card for someone and saw this Emerson quote card, which was exactly what I needed to read.

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

Yes, my blunders were over. They were to be forgotten. Tomorrow, yes tomorrow is a new day! How liberating!

Ah, but my day was not over.

I then met a girl I used to babysit for coffee. Somewhere in our conversation, we realized we had applied for the same job. Now, this isn't absurd because what are the odds of two people who know each other randomly applying for the same job. No, this didn't bother me because I was competing for a job with someone I knew. No, this bothered me because she is seven years YOUNGER and I used to babysit her! It was like everything I had suspected about my career decisions was official, because you know your career path has had a lot of wrong turns and dead-ends when you and someone you used to babysit apply for the same job!

After this, Mother Nature got one last belly laugh at the movies. My husband and I scouted out seats. The ones we wanted involved another couple getting up. They stood to let us by. I needed to go to the bathroom, so rather than make them get up twice I waited to hand Art my purse.

Rather than tell me man:
a.) Sorry sir, I'm not sitting yet, so you may sit down, or
b.) At ease, soldier
c.) Or c, the best yet, say nothing and walk off, I instead went for option D.
d.) I'm going to the bathroom.

This is the point where I made eye contact and realized that he was horrified. He had a disgusted and appalled look on his face. I don't know if he thought I was currently going to the bathroom in my pants, or the mere fact that one would announce one's restroom schedule to a stranger could generate such a shocked face. I also realized at this same moment that I knew him.

I don't know if I previously worked with him at one of my dead-end jobs or if he was a b-list actor, but I had seen this offended face before.

Ah, but what can you do? Tomorrow is another day, an absurd one, but another day none-the-less.