The Fall of Society

This is my first blog, but I am forced to blog because this is an issue I feel very strongly about.

Some people point the fall of society to the violence on TV or working mothers or video games, but it’s pretty clear that it stems from the invention of caller ID. Years ago when kids were able to sit at home and prank call, they didn’t need to go out and join gangs or rob stores. Back in my day, if the phone bill was paid, that was all you needed!

Just think, we wouldn’t have to go to war or fight with other countries, if Bush could simply call up world leaders and make toot noises while laughing hysterically in the background. I can hear it now, “ppppfffffftttt, ha, ha, ha, hey, ha, ha, Cheney, it’s your turn! Ha, ha, ha... oh shit, I said your name, hang up! HANG UP!”

Now, people see who is calling, but still don’t answer. This procedure that has evolved in society, has not only eliminated prank calls, but also led to the demise of the ever-funny, double-prank. Personally, there can’t be a better adrenaline rush than calling someone, pranking them to the point of frustration, laughing until you cry, then catching your breath, only to call again to hear, “hello?” That could keep you in stitches for a week! “Ha, ha, ha, he answered again!” Almost as funny, was asking the prankee to hold on and they do it! Coming back to the phone after a bathroom break and saying “You’re still there? You held on for a prank call?”

In the 80’s my mother had devised her own form of caller ID. I would answer the phone and as I was handing it to her, she would say, in her speaking voice volume, “who is it?” Which is funny because once you’ve heard the person you’re calling speak in the background, it’s a little too late to pretend they aren’t there.

Most of the time, I would shrug like I didn’t know who it was just to keep up the suspense. I would envision her hearing daunting suspense drama music as she slowly lifted the mysterious call to hear ear.

I think in the birthing process, she lost her ability to effectively whisper. Still to this day, my mother will think she is whispering, when she really just changing her speaking voice to a breathy tone, rather than lowering the volume. I would be like, “people can still hear you, now you just sound like Marilyn Monroe.”

I would love to tell all of the embarrassing stories that come along with living with a person who thinks they can whisper, but can’t. Unfortunately, that’s a blog for another day…